Five Christmas Classics (SGT Frog Edition)
by StuffedCrustLord
Summary: Have some REAL fun this holiday season with these five classic Christmas tunes rewritten for each member of the A.R.M.P.I.T. platoon. Includes rewrites for "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer", "All I Want For Christmas Is You", "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)", "Here Comes Santa Claus" and "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch". All song rights belong to their respected owners.


**Dear Song Artists...**

**Please don't sue me.**

**~StuffedCrustLord**

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><p>Kululu - "Kululu The Swirl-Eyed Space Frog"<p>

[Rudolf The Red-Nosed Reindeer]

_You know Einstein and Newton _

_And Darwin and Mendel_

_Tesla and Franklin_

_And Watson and Maxwell_

_But do you recall_

_The most ingenious scientist_

_of all?_

_**Kululu the swirl-eyed space frog...**_

_**Had a very creepy laugh.**_

_**And if you ever heard it...**_

_**You would drop your things and scram.**_

_**All of the other children...**_

_**Beat him up and called him names.**_

_**They wouldn't let Kululu...**_

_**Play any invader games.**_

_**Then one day in 'Show n' Tell'...**_

_**He walked in class and said...**_

_**"I made this new machine for you.**_

_**Let me show you what it can do."**_

_**Then there was only screaming.**_

_**As he stood and watched with glee.**_

_**Kululu the swirl-eyed space frog...**_

_**Ku-Ku-Ku-Ku-KU-KU-KU!**_

Tamama - "All I Want For Christmas Is Sarge"

[All I Want For Christmas Is You]

_I don't want that much for Christmas._

_There is just one thing I need._

_To see that cursed women perish..._

_Head hung on the Christmas tree._

_I will have him for my own._

_She won't stop me, this I know._

_My wish is not that large._

_All I want for Christmas..._

_is..._

_**Sarge.**_

_**...**_

_**I don't want that much for Christmas.**_

_**There is just one thing I need.**_

_**To see that cursed women perish...**_

_**Head hung on the Christmas tree.**_

_**I can live without fried chicken.**_

_**Or the yummy Christmas cake.**_

_**Santa Claus let me down last year.**_

_**All I got then was heart break.**_

_**I will have him for my own.**_

_**She won't stop me, this I know.**_

_**My wish is not that large.**_

_**All I want for Christmas...**_

_**is Sarge.**_

_**...**_

_**Momo-chi gives me a present.**_

_**Every year, the same old thing.**_

_**Chocolate cookies, chips and cola;**_

_**Enough to make the Angels sing.**_

_**But even still, with all that sugar...**_

_**What I want is still not there.**_

_**I won't stand for it much longer!**_

_**Sargent will be mine this year!**_

_**'Cause I just want him here tonight...**_

_**Holding on to me so tight.**_

_**It's time that I took charge!**_

_**Oh, all I want for Christmas...**_

_**is Sarge.**_

_**...**_

_**Look at that stupid woman...**_

_**Thinking about my man!**_

_**Soon she will be begging...**_

_**As part of my sweet plan.**_

_**There will be no one left...**_

_**To get in my way.**_

_**Santa can't stop me...**_

_**Even if I'm naughty...**_

_**So bring it on, bud,...**_

_**That's what I say!**_

_**Oh, I don't want that much for Christmas.**_

_**I'll take what I need myself!**_

_**I just want to see my Sargent...**_

_**Smile'n at this little elf.**_

_**I will have him for my own!**_

_**She won't stop me, this I know!**_

_**My wish is not that large.**_

_**Oh, All I want for Christmas...**_

_**is...**_

_**SAAARGE!**_

Giroro - "Happy Xmas (War Is Starting)"

[Happy Xmas (War Is Over)]

**_So this is Christmas..._**

**_And what have we done?_**

**_Another year over..._**

**_And our plans are still dumb!_**

**_And so the invasion..._**

**_Still hasn't begun!_**

**_I'm tired of waiting!_**

**_Time to grab my gun!_**

**_It's a very merry Christmas! _**

**_And a happy new year!_**

**_Hold on to your loved ones..._**

**_And cower in fear!_**

**_And so come this Christmas... _**_(War is starting!)_

**_Let all who are strong... _**_(We're invading!)_

**_Grab a weapon and face me... _**_(War is starting!)_

**_Or I'll blow your face off! _**_(No-o-o-ow!)_

**_And so happy Christmas... _**_(War is starting!)_

**_At least just for now! _**_(We're invading!)_

**_Because come tomorrow... _**_(War is starting!)_

**_You all will bow down! _**_(No-o-o-ow!)_

**_It's a very merry Christmas! _**

**_And a happy new year!_**

**_Hold on to your loved ones..._**

**_And cower in fear!_**

**_So this is Christmas... _**_(War is starting!)_

**_And what have we done? _**_(We're invading!)_

**_Another year over... _**_(War is starting!)_

**_And our plans are still dumb! _**_(No-o-o-ow!)_

**_And so the invasion... _**_(War is starting!)_

**_Still hasn't begun! _**_(We're invading!)_

**_I'm tired of waiting! _**_(War is starting!)_

**_Time to grab my gun! _**_(No-o-o-ow!)_

**_It's a very merry Christmas! _**

**_And a happy new year!_**

**_Hold on to your loved ones..._**

**_And cower in fear!_**

**_War is starting!_**

**_We're invading!_**

**_War is starting!_**

**_No-o-o-ow!_**

Dororo - "Here comes Dororo"

[Here comes Santa Claus]

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Right down Ninja Frog Lane!**_

_**His sword Steven and friend Koyuki come to save the day!**_

_**Viper's brawling, friends are crawling,**_

_**There's no hope in sight.**_

_**Well fear not, Keroro. You'll be saved...**_

_**When Dororo comes to fight!**_

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Right down Ninja Frog Lane.**_

_**Don't got an ending? Need a cop-out?**_

_**He'll be there again!**_

_**Watch him slash through guns and robots!**_

_**Wow, what a really cool sight!**_

_**So duck your head...**_

_**Or else you'll be dead...**_

_**When Dororo comes to fight!**_

_**...**_

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Right down Ninja Frog Lane!**_

_**He doesn't care that he's not human.**_

_**He loves Earth just the same!**_

_**Dororo thinks his friends still like him.**_

_**I'm not sure if that's right.**_

_**They only remember he exists...**_

_**When Dororo comes to fight!**_

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Right down Ninja Frog Lane!**_

_**That last verse made me kind of sad.**_

_**This song is kind of lame.**_

_**Peace on Earth is what he strives for.**_

_**What he dreams of each night.**_

_**These things and more are why he's awesome!**_

_**Dororo comes to fight!**_

_**...**_

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Here comes Dororo,**_

_**Right down Ninja Frog Lane!**_

_**His sword Steven and friend Koyuki come to save the day!**_

_**Viper's brawling, friends are crawling,**_

_**There's no hope in sight.**_

_**Fear not, Keroro. You'll be saved...**_

_**WHEN DORORO COMES TO FIGHT!**_

Keroro - "You're A Mean One, Natsumi"

[You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch]

_**You're a mean one,...**_

_**Na-tsu-mi.**_

_**You really are a hag.**_

_**You're as noisy as a parrot. Even louder when you nag.**_

_**Natsumiii-i!**_

_**You're a thousand diapers in a...**_

_**Wrapped-up trash baaag!**_

_**...**_

_**You're a monster,...**_

_**Na-tsu-mi.**_

_**Your heart's as black as coal.**_

_**Your eyes when they are furious could pierce the devil's soul.**_

_**Natsumiii-i!**_

_**Your very voice could scare the...**_

_**Pants off a troooll!**_

_**You're a vile one,...**_

_**Na-tsu-mi.**_

_**You have blood stains in your smile.**_

_**You suck the life right out of me like a Nyororo vampire.**_

_**Natsumiii-i!**_

_**Given the choice between the two of you, I'd pick the...**_

_**Nyororo vampiiire!**_

_**You're a foul one,...**_

_**Na-tsu-mi.**_

_**Your brain has webs of dust!**_

_**My feelings towards you could redefine the meaning of disgust!**_

_**Natsumiii-i!**_

_**Your face is just a masterfully crafted disguise to hide the fact that you're really a...**_

_**Horse-faced succubuuus!**_

_**You're a rotter,...**_

_**Na-tsu-mi.**_

_**You're the queen of crazy cranks.**_

_**Your personality's as rotten as a month old pickled frank.**_

_**Natsumiii-i!**_

_**The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:**_

_**...SKINK!**_

_**...SKUNK!**_

_**...SKA-!**_

_"TOOOAD! WHAT ARE YOU SINGING IN THERE!?"_

_Sorry. Song's over. Gotta g-._

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><p><strong>HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE! <strong>


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